Coooo

Today I was a sitter at work. Sitter: a babysitter for adults in a hospital setting (I made up that definition). My patient was on suicide precautions (after jumping from a car moving 65 mph...and he was driving) so from 6-3 my job was to give this patient my undivided attention: Urinal, food, urinal, toothbrush, urinal, television and so forth. These tasks only take up so much time and the rest of the time was mine to do anything my little heart desired in a small, dark, hospital room. Unfortunately today is the first day I forgot my cell phone and Gmail was the only thing I could access from the hospital computer. Lucky for me there was a Desperate Housewives marathon on: Gchat, affairs, Gchat, someone died, Gchat, more affairs...

Also, a flock of pigeons settled outside the window. This was not-so-lucky. Pigeons are really annoying. They can literally coo for hours, and I'm pretty sure they were saying something like, "Coo, sucks you're stuck in a germy hospital room, coo". Pigeons are lame.

And in other news:

*Obama is looking to make Broadband as prevelant as telephone lines. So that'd be cool.

*There is an enormous selection of deodorant these days, you can pretty much smell like anything. I stood in the deodorant aisle for what had to have been 20 minutes going back and forth between Breezy Shower, Silk powder, or Forest Rain...and there were so many more.

*I bought strawberry cream cheese today, not because I particularly love strawberry cream cheese, but because it had a pink lid for breast cancer. Not only do I support breast cancer research; I support pink.

Odd

So today I bought a pair of scissors for a project. When I got them home and tried to open them, I quickly realized I needed a pair of scissors to open my scissors. Really? Who's idea was that?

I also was starving and running really behind schedule, so when I was at Walgreens picking up some supplies (including my scissors-to-open-scissors) I ran by the freezer aisle and grabbed a frozen dinner of mac and cheese. I know, frozen mac and cheese is even worse than box mac and cheese-but I was desperate. I got it home and realized it was in a cardboard box...how did I not realize that before? I really don't know. Directions: pull back cardboard and microwave for 2 minutes. Uh oh, this will probably be much worse than I am imagining. Bingo! I promptly trashed it after wrestling back a corner and observing a stack of freezer-burnt noodles and a pile a dehydrating cheese to boot. So...cereal?

Oh, and for some reason I have experienced some form of regression and can't stop biting my nails. I rarely bit my nails when I was a kid...why is this happening? Help.

I [almost] Voted!

Today I filled up my tank for $23. I was telling someone about this small miracle at school and as I was sharing this story I couldn't help but think of one of my dad's favorite cliche's: "happy as a pig in slop." And today, driving away from the Shell station, I was indeed, happy as a pig in slop.

In other news, today is election day! Woo! Unfortunately when I showed up to valiantly cast my ballot-I was informed that I did not have a current address registered and therefore I would not be able to vote. Crap. The first opportunity in my short-lived life to vote...to proudly display an "I voted" sticker, and nothing. Sad. Do you think I can cast my vote in prayers? If I pray and pray will this make up for my lack of democratic contribution? "Thank you for this lovely weather and please, please at least give Virginia to McCain..."

Mmmm Toasty

So I was rushing to class today and thought, hey its going to be a long day, i should make a sandwich. Little did I know it was going to be a masterpiece in the making. Originally it was just a ham and cheese sandwich on wheat, but by the time I ate it, it would be so much more. Short story, short-I left it in my car during class and turns out the heat would get to it before I did. The cheese was melted, the ham was hot, the bread was stale (and hot) giving it the texture and temperature of being perfectly toasted and bam! Hot ham and cheese. Mmmm Toasty.

Oh and I don't think its right to not have have this picture posted somewhere.

J E L L Ooooo

Somewhere along the line, a chemist made lots of money developing the Jell-O they serve you in hospitals. There is no way there is not an extra, synthesized compound hidden in the depths of a hospital laboratory that allows this Jell-O to keep it shape for days. You will never walk into a patient's room and see on their bedside table a puddle of Jell-O. A day later, three days later: perfect symmetrical cubes of green, blue, red gelatin. It's a hospital-cafeteria anomaly and I stand by it.

On a different note, at work, after giving Mr. Kadara his breakfast the other morning he shared with me his experience of being kidnapped the night before. Fortunately, he was taken to a cafe and fed a delicious meal before being returned to his hospital bed. Then he promptly asked me to leave his wheelchair by the door that night so that he could readily escape when the time was right. Did I mention he doesn't have a wheelchair? I love my patients.

On a completely unrelated note I gave my teacher a Book of Mormon and today she told me she had been reading it, it had her interested and wanted to talk more. After my initial response, (in my head of course) "Really?" I started to feel like Elder Calhoun from the Best Two Years. For those of you who have missed out on this little gem of a film, here's a quick clip that ought to give you the idea.

Sheesh, people. Sheesh.

Controversial?

So I'm sure a ton of you have heard the news about Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee and her stance on naming hurricanes but if not here's an update:

Do devastating hurricanes need help from affirmative action?

A member of Congress apparently thinks so, and is demanding the storms be given names that sound "black."

The congressional newspaper the Hill reported this week that Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, D-Texas, feels that the current names are too "lily white," and is seeking to have better representation for names reflecting African-Americans and other ethnic groups.

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, D-Texas

"All racial groups should be represented," Lee said, according to the Hill. She hoped federal weather officials "would try to be inclusive of African-American names."

A sampling of popular names that could be used include Keisha, Jamal and Deshawn, according to the paper.

Jackson Lee's call is brewing its own storm of response across America.

My personal favorite response:

Limbaugh- "I just threw up in my hands."

The Meter Man

Working as a meter monitor (you know-the guys that leave the little yellow ransom notes under your windshield wipers {"Pay $___ or I'll tow your crap"} is the equivalent of saying, "Hello, my name is so and so, and I'm here to make your day a little crappier." The past couple of days on my way to school I walk past a skinny meter man. The term "empathy" has taken on a whole new meaning to me. As he slipped his county-stamped papers onto the windshield of a Dodge Ram I couldn't help but feel like (in a voodoo doll kind-of-way) that it may as well have been my Honda Civic being wallpapered with fines. I was nearly tempted to shout, "Hey! He's coming back I just saw him around the corner...maybe you could give him a minute or two!" I'm not sure where the plan would unfold from there, maybe as he looked around to check for the man I would tackle him-I don't know.

Anyway, I just imagine the skinny meter man waking up each morning chanting to himself the code of the "Meter Police" while sipping on over-sweetened coffee and reading the obituaries in the newspaper. Why would I imagine that? Just because he hands out parking tickets does that really make him worthy of a judgment including Splenda and the recently deceased? Its hard to say. Bottom line is, what a self-deprecating job...You can do better than that meter man!