Stairmaster, people!

I judge people that take the elevator from the 9th floor to the 8th.

And yes, just like that. Bam. Judged.

Unhappy Birthday

Twenty-one

Let's see I can...

drive, no wait already can do that
drink? no wait I don't do that either
smoke? had my chance for three years now
say i'm 21...there we go

So in other news, my blog is reaching you all the way from the hospital today where I have been assigned to sit for a patient. The patient is fifteen (we'll call him Invalid McLoverboy), he is visiting with us today because he tried to hurt himself, although I can't imagine why. Let me explain. He is not the only one checked in with us, no, no, at his bedside stands his ever-faithful girlfriend (also 15, and we'll call her Steamy McAdolescentlips). Can you see where this is going? Oh and I almost forgot to include the mother, the chaperon, the reason kids get pregnant in their own bedrooms.

The door is closed, the blinds are drawn, and nothing stands between this young love but four bed rails, an IV pump, an arm cast, and an inconveniently low hospital bed. Oh and then me, sitting in the corner, with NOTHING between me and the juiciest, most horrifying make-out session in all the history of adolescent hospitalized romances (which I pray to all that is holy is one of few). Let's be honest, when magnetism almost surpasses the time that you saw the Jonas Brother's front row and the curly-haired one look your general direction (but you know he saw you).

This has been going on for THREE hours. The mom, or the "enabler", chats away on her cell phone, not even phased by this Mickey Mouse club meets Cinemax episode unfolding right here in this dark, very, very small hospital room. I want to yell, "What is going ON!? She is EATING his FACE like a HAMBURGER, or did you NOT NOTICE!?"

Sweet MERCY what did I do to deserve this on my BIRTHDAY?!
Don't believe me?
I recorded a sound clip. BELIEVE THAT

A prolonged period of excessively hot weather accompanied by high humidity

Being stuck in traffic in Texas is like being stranded out in the desert. "Oh hey, it looks like 20 cars up its starting to move...no, no, those are just the heat waves and this is delirium. Perfect. I bet that means the clowns handing out free ice cream weren't real either."

Booya

Artificial crab meat really isn't that bad. Obviously I don't prefer it but as I am so far away from my MD blue crab it'll have to do. 

I got these today (the white ones). And these. Happy almost birthday Me!

I'm turning 21! So that means...I'll basically be doing the same things I am doing now...except Rob can take me places with all his grown-up friends. Ha! Kind of weird, but the hilarity makes it worth saying. Actually a couple of coworkers are taking me out so they can get trashed and I can drive them home, woo party!

Oh and Rob bought me a beautiful linen dress for my birthday. I'm not sure how many women can say they trust their husband (almost) to pick out clothes for them, but Rob actually has great taste. Good work team. 

Its a Trap!

If any of your haven't invested a few hours in the viewing of The Big Bang Theory...shame on you.

Some things

Most of my blogs lately are little blips of thought. That's kind of the way my mind is working at this point. Tomorrow I have to go to the county clerks office for the marriage applic...but what about roses in the centerpie...I need to clean that mirro...I need to get that list of addresses from my sist...I keep forgetting to sign up for that clas...my beds not made...the cake...do i have time to...after i run i'll...I really need to make my bed.

Yeah. That's pretty much that. 

Anyway I think there should be an engagement package. Like after you decide to get engaged, all the little annoying parts of wedding preparation are, Bam, done. (Which Robert would argue is all of it)

Robert and I got our engagement pictures taken this weekend. He was very brave and lasted a whole hour, I was very proud. (Pictures to come)

Ferry is leaving on the 26th. So between her and Rob being gone Austin loses 95% of its appeal. Pearl drinks are the only thing holding the last 5% together.

I love my family because at any point in my life if I texted them, "Hey roo-roo, where you at?" I would get an applause at the other end of the phone. 

Lastly, this song is terrible, but I have a crush on them as a couple. I can't help it. 

Rolling back prices one mango at a time

So I went to get an eye exam hoping and praying I needed a prescription because of all the headaches I've been having. 20/10 vision. No luck. I've never been so dissapointed after doing awesome on a test. 

I went to Wal-mart to go grocery shopping today. Wow! Amazing! Has everyone known all this time how cheap Wal-mart is?! Please don't judge me, this is coming from the same girl who insisted her dolls needed manicures too. 

Someone calling me "incorrigable" doesn't seem to sting as badly as lets say being referred to as "stiff-necked"--but I guess nobody really uses that word anymore. The point is incorrigible doesnt sound as insulting as the actual meaning...or maybe its just me. 

Can you believe I'm still not 21? What is taking so long?