*Catching my kid's vomit with an impressively narrow sippie cup while stopped at a light (I'm talkin' topping that sucker off with 8 ounces of Gross all while politely smiling at the car to my right)
*The murder of a pregnant house fly that took place several days ago. I'm not sorry for what I did. I didn't know it was pregnant but I knew it had no right to be as big as it was.
*Why I think it is acceptable to use the handicapped stall when pregnant
*The importance of the "hover" method in a public restroom and why it should be included in school curriculums
*Menchie's (the yogurt place) and why it sounds too close to "menses"
*What I can tell about you by the color of your poop
*Why I find it loathsome, embarrassing and uncouth to order chicken at a steakhouse
*Why Chambray is acceptable but jean shirts are still out