Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Trouble in the Library

Scenario: (Imagine yourself there, and as myself, but don't get used to it...there is only one me)

Here I am in the library, minding my own manners on the computer. When I am studying I prefer things to be quiet...hence...I head to the library (funny how that works) anyways, there I am working on the foundation of my future, when homeboy comes over and sits his butt down next to me and starts typing. So as his typing continues, he starts to drop curse words all over the place, and I'm thinking, really...really? First and foremost, completely unnecessary to share your commentary aloud with everyone else in the library...nobody cares (namely, myself), and secondly, there are more efficient ways of getting the attention of the person next to you than speaking like an uneducated, obnoxious punk.

So my thoughts are, "okay, next time he says it, just say something. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong, HE's wrong" (I'm never wrong). Little did I know, things work a little differently at ACC Riverside campus (I guess the teachers that got caught drinking booze in the bathroom should have tipped me off. Even if it was free from the metro bus driver. Google it, its true)

-20 minutes later, 7853476895374 profanities later-

Enough is enough, right? WRONG. So after his last ridiculous conglomeration of every obscenity he could think of, I look over and say, "Look, I'm sure whatever you are doing...I'm sure its very frustration, but would you be so kind as to curse your head?" (Disclaimer: Although most of you are imagining me saying this with a considerable amount of attitude...the attitude was minimal! Seriously!) Anyways, the rest of the conversation went a little something like this:

Thug Masta Riverside*: Excuse me?

Me (or You if you're still playing me in the scenario): Well, do you mind?

Thug Masta Riverside: Yeah, well maybe I do! (Expressed with buckets full of attitude and breath that deserves the death sentence)

Me: Yeah...well MAYBE you shouldn't be in the LIBRARY!

And THEN, out of nowhere, Mr. Astigmatism (please, no offense to those of you who unfortunately suffer from vision impairment) from the circulation desk comes over....."uhhh, excuse me, uhh problem?"

Me: Actually, yes, I was just trying to....

Thug Masta Riverside: YEAH. THIS **&$@#%#$^ was just *@&%$@%^#&^$#& and I'm gunna do whatever I want!

At this point, I may or may not have called him something, and told him to go do something, but that information is really not pertinent to the story.

Bottom line is, they kicked ME out. ME. They asked me to leave and to not come back until the next day. Are you kidding me? Is there no justice in this world? He gets to surf eBay while I am sent to time-out? Give me a break Riverside-circulation-desk!

And there it is, I was officially kicked out of the Riverside Community College Library. If I've ever felt any sort of failure before, nothing is comparable to my walk of shame through the metal detectors, out those double doors (pepperspray in hand), past the wailing sirens of two cop cars, all the way to my Honda Civic (parked next to the 86 el camino: License plate: elhombre).

That's it. You can relinquish my persona from this scenario and go back to your uneventful lives at your Universities and careers.

*Names have been changed because Johnny Bad *** didn't seem appropriate, and my Dad reads this. Hey Dad!

Monday, February 25, 2008


Last night I realized, hey, you're failing school. So I studied. And studied. And studied. I woke up this morning, and studied until class. After class, I went to the library. After the library I went to another class. After that class I studied more. And upon completion of this very short and sweet blog, I will study more. I feel like the old Kasey has been brought back to life. Streptococcus Aureus and polysynaptic reflexes here I come!

Saturday, February 23, 2008


Is there such a thing as a disease of apathy? Or do they just call that depression these days? Because I don't feel depressed. I am not sad, I am not sitting in my room staring at the wall thinking about absolutely nothing (is that what you do when you're depressed...I don't know?) Point is, I just don't seem to....lets say...."care". But maybe its not that I don't care, its just that I have overly cared about so many things for so long, I'm burnt out on all my ambitious cares. For instance, I care about what I eat for breakfast, I care about my nails always being painted, I also care about trips I want to take. So there's that. The only problem seems to be, that those things don't get me too far. I mean, yes, its important that I eat breakfast every day, but is it really important that my nails never go out in public if they've been chipped?

I should be caring about the physiology exam I have on Monday. Or even, the Pharmacology exam I take tomorrow morning that dictates whether or not I pass the class. But you see, I can't seem to sit down with my books and say, "Books, lets work this crap out." Instead, it comes out, "Books, lets watch hours of mindless television." Neither Will or Grace have the answer (However, Jack or Karen may). Point is, I'm not sure how to get out of this little slump. And by little, I mean this HUGE roadblock of production. Surely recording all these things in a blog isn't the answer. But if it were, I absolutely would NOT be here. So I suppose the question is, am I willing to just suck it up like everyone else in the world? Does anyone sit down with their text book and can't hardly wait to crack open those overpriced pages...and learn...for the library? Maybe. But I don't buy it. So, there it is.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Mustering the strength to turn that overwhelmingly large leaf....

I've decided that a series of new goals are (and have been for quite some time) in dire need of attention. I always have these really great ideas for improvement and making better use of my time...but alas...reorganizing my closet by different sleeve length and consuming mass amounts of food always seems to ninja its way in. So. With that being said,

Goal 1. Be up and ready to go by 8am sharp. (I know for most people this is an easy task, but I struggle with the snooze-button disease). I think it has something to do with that know, the buzzing, that unholy sound-wave that was forged from the Devil's hands himself...Its more like a survival instinct. I can't help but lunge out as fast as my body will allow me at 8am (which ironically is very, very slow) and unfortunately for myself, I possess the reflexes of a cat (a very large, overfed cat) and by the time I have pressed that button of freedom...5 times over...all chances at my waking up are out the window. Suggestions?

Goal 2. Since the hours professors give you as suggested study time are typically outrageously unrealistic, this is my official statement that I will allot 2 hours a day to each subject. Except for Micro...and Physio. So I guess that just leaves Pharmacology...and 2 hours might be overdoing it (its actually under-doing it). 2 hours it is!

Goal 3. Become more aware of my eye rolling habits.

Goal 3. Hang out with less people that make me want to roll my eyes

Goal 4. Start fixing my hair at LEAST 4 times a week. I've abused my baseball hat privileges. I pay 60 bucks for a haircut from a fantastic hair-dresser with the conversational aptitude of a can of hairspray...I should try to get the most out of it: and this does not include her reminiscing of when she was young and single, two years ago. You hear that Rockell?

Goal 5. Cut down on my disgustingly enormous amount of sugar-intake per day. A cherry pie, does not constitute as a meal. Unless it is Thanksgiving, in which case, it couldn't be more appropriate.

-Lastly, and most importantly-

Goal 6. Keep a record of 3 things that I am grateful for every day. Starting now:

a. Showers that make your skin burn

b. McDonald's $1 sundaes (with caramel AND hot fudge mmm)

c. Being able to disregard goal # 5 and embrace Goal 6b. Because I can.

There it is ladies and gentlemen. Reach for the stars.

It has been brought to my attention...

1. I am a push, push, pushover. I should probably recruit a team of jocks in aviators to follow me around with a series of self-esteem jokes on call for those particular mishaps when my inner-pansey goes against all my better judgement and plunges to the very same level of kindergarten teachers ("Okay, Bobby, but next time you glue Mary-Sue's hair to the desk its going to be bad news bears!") and florists.*
2. I would rather see Obama in office than John McCain. I'm embarrassed for our country.
3. There is a portion of the telephone customer service application that is required for every major computer, internet or phone company. It reads: Your knowledge and fluency of the English language is moderate to minimal (5 or more syllables MUST be pronounced with a substitute letter of your choosing to fill this requirement). X Initial Here
4. I have nothing clever to say between the hours of 6am through 1am. Either this means I am so focused on school there is no time for mindless banter. OR. My brain, like the bank has notoriously inconvenient operating hours with no sense of rhyme or reason. I'm inclined to believe the latter.
*I have no evidence or experience to support the pansiness of florists but it seems to me that they, by simple career choice, have brought on the reputation themselves.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Horrible Movies

Movies that make me wish I could get those 2 hours of my life back

(In order of suckiness)

1. Cloverfield (A supposed "glorified" documentary that makes you physically ill)

2. American Beauty [(Disclaimer: I saw the edited version on TV) Creepy film with an abuse of motifs]

3. Juno (Encouraging 15 year-olds everywhere that its okay to have a baby because you WILL live happily ever after with your adolescent boyfriend.

4. Definitely, Maybe (Warning: there was no thought put into the making of this movie)

5. Suburban Girl [Sarah Michelle Gellar (a young, size 0 editor) falls in love with Alec Baldwin (a not-so-young, alcoholic, compulsive writer) I feel any more elaboration would be unnecessary.]

Monday, February 18, 2008

Things you should probably be caught up on...

1. The number of guys I'm dating/dated/will date is regrettably unknown
2. Joey had a baby, Kjer got engaged, and I received my first 70% (give or take 12%) thus far in college
3. Break in attempts on our apartment to date: two
4. I've gone 4 days abstaining from making my bed each morning, on the 5th day I tucked in corners and apologized to the rest of the room for making it look bad
5. My secret crush on Mike Grant resurfaced the other day when he diagnosed me with acid reflux and directed me to take tums and inform him of any changes (I always knew there was a spark between us)
6. I found myself talking in metaphors directly after I had drawn out the plan of salvation to a friend on the back of a morphology worksheet. When I looked in the mirror later that day, I was suddenly an old man with $2 dollar glasses on the tip of my nose....working on a puzzle. Strange.
7. Valentine's Day has several themes, A. death (flowers exchanged are in their dying stage and conversation hearts WILL kill you if you consume an amount equal or greater than ten) B. loneliness (everyone without a date spends a long, lonely night with a poorly reviewed film only to remind you that you are, in fact alone) C. Brownie Points (If you have, or are planning on making a faux pas in your relationship, this holiday is your Get-out-of-jail-free card. Embrace it.)
8. Fortunately for myself, the previous bullet didn't apply to me this year. I had two dates.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


So I feel like since everyone seems to be so far away from me (possibly due to the fact that I moved all the way across the country to pursue dreams of Community College and rights to claim a very large cow as my idol) it has been hard to keep up on everything that goes on. Granted, mom is able to appreciate what I eat for lunch and how I spend the 10 minutes waiting for class to start, however, it seems to me everyone else is missing out. I think its about time that I introduced my random and over analyzed banter to the internet.