"Sick? Who's sick?"

So here's the thing. "What's the thing, Kasey?" Well, I'll tell you.

The thing is, since I've been busy making life and all that, I've had to make a few*** adjustments to my life, one of the biggest being work. When the time came to go back to work, it just seemed impossible. I couldn't leave the world's most high maintenance baby with anyone. I'd have to pay them like triple. And by triple, I mean like the standard going rate, and then a promised 1,000 smiles a day from the baby who doesn't actually know he's sick.

The job description would be something like:
*Sick baby needs competent caregiver for 13 hours, 3 days a week.
And if that didn't get the prospective employee to flee there's this....
*Must be able to administer 3 medications 8 times a day.
*One of the medications, if given incorrectly, can have permanent neurological side effects, K?
*Also, he'll gag and vomit all over you when you try to put the bottle in his mouth, but don't worry, its even worse when you try to give him his meds. He literally will turn blue and gag for like 5 minutes. So...I guess you'll just have to work that out.
*When making his formula you have to add .5tsp, 1 tbs, 2/3c, and then add 24 ounces of water, shake, add more water, shake, let settle, add a little more water, and then it has to be chilled because bro don't do warm milk.
*He must be held upright for 30 minutes after eating.
*When you change him you must be extraordinarily meticulous as any sort of wrong swipe and boom, UTI. You're fault.
Am I missing anything?
*Oh, oh and don't tell him he's small, he hates that.

But anyway, the point was actually that my boss is letting me work one shift a month which is amazing and is probably the best arrangement that could possibly ever be.
Manager: "Think you can just stay on for one shift a month?"
Me: "Yeeeeeeeeahhhh...I think I can swing that."

Hurrah for awesome things like that happening to me. And hurrah that I get to be the neurotic full-time caregiver of the BEST baby ever.

***Few? I literally want to punch you in the face if you didn't say, "a few, that's cray!"