Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A conglomeration, if you will


Last night I feel asleep in theses huge over-sized shorts that tend to ride. I dreamt I was a heavy weight boxer.

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In other news, it is likely my hospital has a mind of its own. There is some sort of weird vibe that gets everybody acting crazy and weird things start to happen. Every few weeks I'll have a day that goes something like this: patients refusing to be bathed (but why, its been days?), hospital beds going up and down on their own, IV's beeping when nothing has been hung, and my personal favorite...while rushing down the hall in the back of my mind past all the blood pressures, urine counts, and who needs a juice cup, I hear something. Like a buzzing? But nobody else is in the hall, what could be buzzing? And then of course I look over at a vitals machine and the blood pressure cuff has taken it upon itself to inflate and deflate accordingly. Measuring whoever's ghost still lingers in the hallway spreading this weirdness like a virus. Maybe Toy story was right. Its like, Hospital Equipment Story, and when nobody is looking it all comes to life. Bedside commodes lifting their lids to speak, IV poles scooting down the hall, blood pressure cuffs competing over who inflates the largest...think about it.

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I heard someone say "we useta could" the other day. She has a PhD in occupational therapy? Maybe if we weren't so concerned with treating all kids in our education systems on the same learning level, the supposed "bright kids" would learn not to say, "useta could."

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We booed Bush off the stage at the inauguration? Really? I'm glad all the hypocritical advocates for equality and change had an opportunity to demonstrate just how much BS that really is.

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To end on a lighter note; one of my patients threw her Jell-O at her doctor the other day. Way to take a stand Edna!

5 comments:

Abinadi said...

My favorite part of this post is that you use the image of Tommy Gunn, the boxer from the worst of the Rocky movies: Rocky V.

Dan Jones said...

While it may be pronounced "uesta could," it is spelled "used to could." It's a much simpler way of saying "used to be able to." In some English dialects (and in fact, in several foreign languages), that construction is perfectly acceptable, and even preferred over the much less efficient form.

Steph said...

Oh man, I really want to put on boxing shorts and throw Jell-O at someone right now...

The Wheelers said...

I knew a guy that one time told me "I useta could, and if I think about it real hard maybe I can start to could again!" He was a certified English as a Second Language Instructor.

The Wheelers said...

And by the way, that Dan guy is kinda funny, or crazy. "Used to could" is acceptable only at county fairs that have a demolition derby and a vegetable over 100lb.