My typical route home includes making a left-hand turn off of a busy street. There is a turning lane. We share this turning lane with people coming from the opposite direction. The people coming the other way almost ALWAYS hop into the turning lane like a half a mile away, leaving those of us who are trying to utilize the turning lane correctly, to risk our lives trying to wedge our way into the lane. If my street is literally RIGHT there, I get to be the one in the turning lane. ME. Not you. You have another 5 minutes before your turn. I will kill a man.
I was at the grocery store and my cashier looked just like an Avatar from the game, Just Dance. I told him so. After a few misguided comments I realized it sounded like I was making a serious play at him. So after my face was red enough that I could feel it in my ears, I basically sprinted towards the door. The good thing is, Robbie was with me, just to add a little extra weird.
I went to Whole Foods to pick up sushi for Valentine's day. You don't have to cook it...see where I'm going with this? Anyway, after searching for the sushi stand I asked an employee if they even carried Sushi. I was met with the judging eyes of a disgusted-hipster-passerby who just happened to overhear my question and after looking up from his book, while pushing his cart (seriously), he pointed me in the right direction (without meeting my eyes). Whatever, Whole Foods. It's not like I wasn't wearing Terra Cotta colored ankle skinnies and a chambray button up, I totally was. What more do you want from me? How can I make you feel like I belong? Is it because I forget my reusable grocery bag? Sike, I don't even own one, jokes on you!
I bought a Papyrus card for Rob. They always include a little gold envelope seal with every card. There was no gold seal. What kind of cheap piece of... Banned.
I'm anti Anti-Valentine's day people. You guys suck. "I just hate that I have to be told what day to love my loved ones." Whatever. Shut up. Just buy some flowers, eat some chocolate and don't be the worst." Valentine's day is a manufactured blah blah blah." You hate love, and you hate America.
I've never seen Rob more excited to meet/talk to anyone than he was to meet a blogger from Grantland.com this past weekend. He saw him on the street and literally hung his head out the window and called out his name. We met him later that night at a restaurant. As you see, it was me that ended up taking a picture with him.
2 comments:
banned! hahaha love it.
I seriously loved every post!! Yes, the left turn onto your street is hazardous. And I don't fit in at Whole Foods. I could wear a sign that says, "I Recycle! Hard Core!" And I still wouldn't fit in. POSERS!!!!
You made me laugh.
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